Life Lessons from Psalm 40

Life is a lesson - one after another.  Today I was meditating on Psalm 40.  I remember reading it intensely when I was going through struggles in my marriage.   My thoughts are in red. 

Psalm 40

 ¹ I waited patiently for the Lord to help me,          I started to focus on Him - not my circumstances      and he turned to me and heard my cry.
 ² He lifted me out of the pit of despair,                  When I did, He began to heal my pain      out of the mud and the mire.
   He set my feet on solid ground                           My focus was on Him - not my husband      and steadied me as I walked along.
 ³ He has given me a new song to sing,                  Life seemed manageable with Him in control - not me      a hymn of praise to our God.
   Many will see what he has done and be amazed.    My husband began seeing a change in me &
      They will put their trust in the Lord.                   started to seek Him too
 ⁴ Oh, the joys of those who trust the Lord,      What other people thought  didn't matter anymore      who have no confidence in the proud           I stopped focusing on my husband's sinful behavior      or in those who worship idols.
 ⁵ O Lord my God, you have performed many wonders for us.  God began healing both of our hearts      Your plans for us are too numerous to list.
      You have no equal.
   If I tried to recite all your wonderful deeds,
      I would never come to the end of them.      The more I spent time with Christ; I felt safe with others
 ⁶ You take no delight in sacrifices or offerings.  I stopped isolating myself from people      Now that you have made me listen, I finally understand^[a]—
      you don’t require burnt offerings or sin offerings. Christ loved me - for me; I didn't have to work for it ⁷ Then I said, “Look, I have come.
      As is written about me in the Scriptures:
 ⁸ I take joy in doing your will, my God,
      for your instructions are written on my heart.”    I finally understood - I can trust in Him alone
 ⁹ I have told all your people about your justice.
      I have not been afraid to speak out,
      as you, O Lord, well know.                          I'm not ashamed to share my story of healing ¹⁰ I have not kept the good news of your justice hidden in my heart;
      I have talked about your faithfulness and saving power.
   I have told everyone in the great assembly
      of your unfailing love and faithfulness.            Christ is the only one who can heal a broken heart
 ¹¹ Lord, don’t hold back your tender mercies from me.
      Let your unfailing love and faithfulness always protect me.   When I struggle; I have to hold on to Him ¹² For troubles surround me—
      too many to count!                        Not all my circumstances have completely changed; life goes on   My sins pile up so high
      I can’t see my way out.              I focus on my sinful behavior before God; not on sins of others    They outnumber the hairs on my head.
      I have lost all courage.
 ¹³ Please, Lord, rescue me!
      Come quickly, Lord, and help me.       He shows me my heart, brings repentance and  
¹⁴ May those who try to destroy me             despite what they do....I can truly forgive      be humiliated and put to shame.
   May those who take delight in my trouble
      be turned back in disgrace.                    
 ¹⁵ Let them be horrified by their shame,
      for they said, “Aha! We’ve got him now!”    God is my defender - I don't have to fight the battle
 ¹⁶ But may all who search for you
      be filled with joy and gladness in you.
   May those who love your salvation
      repeatedly shout, “The Lord is great!”      I pray that those who hurt me; find Him ¹⁷ As for me, since I am poor and needy,
      let the Lord keep me in his thoughts.
   You are my helper and my savior.
      O my God, do not delay.                       He always takes care of me, He is my Daddy!

A snowman comes disassembled from Heaven!

As a child, I remember always playing outside...especially in the snow.  I look outside and I see a few children playing, but shouldn't there be more?  After all, it is Christmas vacation!  I sit here at a computer thinking...because of the technology of today - more kids are staying indoors.  Sad, very sad. 

Since I'm on the topic of snow - my husband just told me a cute saying.  "A snowman comes disassembled from Heaven".  As I ponder this thought, we all come that way.  For those of us who believe that God created each of us.  When we are developing in our mother's womb - we are being formed little by little in perfect timing and unique - just like each individual snowflake. 

Today, I am amazed at the miracle of snow and this reminder from my Heavenly Daddy - how precious life is!

Psalm 139:13-18
You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
      and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
      Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
 You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
      as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
 You saw me before I was born.
      Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
 Every moment was laid out
      before a single day had passed.
 How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.
      They cannot be numbered!
 I can’t even count them;
      they outnumber the grains of sand!
 And when I wake up,
      you are still with me!

Played more on Christmas mornings

We did our traditional Christmas Eve Service and Chinese Food excursion.  This year we went to a church in Philly.  The service was called "Nine lesson and nine carols".  They shared scripture, which was based on Christ’s birth, and after each passage we either sang a Christmas Carol or the choir sang.  It ended with candle lighting and singing Joy to the World.  It was a nice way to set the tone for Christmas Day. 

Afterwards, we went to a China Town.  We enjoyed a few Chinese dishes.  It is interesting to see the way the Lord protects us in the little things in life.  While most of the family began eating their wonton soup, James asked, "Is there shrimp in here because I just tasted something I've never had before".  Well, then we realized the soup had shrimp wontons.  Considering he was diagnosed with having a severe seafood allergy, we became concerned.  However, God is good -- nothing happened.  James' face book post says "I'm either no longer allergic to shrimp or I've become immortal". 

Having young adult children is interesting on Christmas Day.  It's been a blessing having them all home.  None of them woke up until after noon.  Jim and I reminisced on when the kids were little.  Each Christmas morning they would wake up early and jump on our bed to wake us.  The last several years, we are the one’s doing the waking.  After the presents were opened and they went downstairs to play their video game; I could not help but weep.  I miss the times when they would open their toys and play on the floor.  Try on their clothes – one outfit at a time.  Ask me to play this game or play with the dolls, cars, legos, etc. 

The years have gone by so quickly.  Looking back, if I were to do it all over again – I would have played more on Christmas mornings with my kids.  Sigh.

Bucket List

For the last several months or so I've been talking with my husband about a "bucket list"; you know the "things I want to do before I die" list.  So last night my 22 year old daughter shared her list.   My list has about 25 items; hers 66!  At first I was amazed at some of the things she wants to do, but wasn't really surprised.  Rachel has always been very adventurous.  I remember when she was about 4 years old; we went to Great Adventure.  She was too short to ride the "Free Fall" so her and I watched as Jim took the boys.  She held my hand and cried "I wanna go, why can't I go".  I remember telling her, Rachel you are not big enough.  Physically, she wasn't "big" enough, but emotionally she was more than ready.  I'm not sure she has ever been afraid to try anything.

As I ponder this, I am amazed at the lessons our kids teach us.  When it comes to adventure; Rachel doesn't fear anything.  In my journey, I recall living in fear.  Mostly about what people think about me, but there are things that I "fear".  I am somewhat claustraphobic and so this influences me in elevators, airplanes and any place where people are "in my space".  Although I am still trying to evaluate where this "fear" conditioning came from, it can be paralyzing.  Most times I find myself praying diligently while in an elevator or airplane "Lord help me".  Fear is real.  By God's grace I am working through these physical fears.  Fortunately, most of my emotional fears have been overcome by God's help.  I know longer live in fear of people's opinons and living for approval.  This has been a great victory in my life.  God is good.

Rachel's lack of fear has been an inspiration to trust God more in even my physical fears.  With this in mind, I may be adding some more things to my bucket list!

First attempt at blogging

Well...I decided to give this "blogging" thing a try.  I haven't decided what to blog about; for now I will share my LOL (lessons of life).

Although I have been a believer in Jesus Christ since 1984.  My life was not centered around Christ it was focused on others.  I thought I was doing the "right thing", yet all along I was worshiping something other than my Heavenly Father.  As a visual learner, I always ask the Lord to show me something that is a constant reminder of my lessons of life (LOL).  This is one of them.

I was once a caterpillar crawling around aimlessly following the "rules".  This life of bondage left me feeling helpless, hypocritical and hopeless.  BUT God then gently began to wrap His arms of love around me..during this "cocoon stage"...my true relationship journey began.  I realized how much I desperately need Him...not just for salvation, but for everyday living.  During this stage a lot of healing began...bitterness, forgiveness and looking at my  "part".  I began to realize that the terrible life circumstances that I was or had experienced was to not hurt but help me to grow more in Christ.  These lessons were difficult, yet I know that God carried me through each one. 

I needed to fully understand the forgiveness that Christ extended to me in order to forgive others.  Once I could truly extend forgiveness to others was when God then knew that it was time for me to burst forth in a different form.  When this happened, I felt free.  This is when I became the butterfly.  Free!