To Speak or Not to Speak (Part Four)

Fire goes out without wood, and quarrels disappear when gossip stops. ~ Proverbs 26:20, NLT

As stated in my last blog, The Gentry Fire of 2005, caused alot of devastation.  A 20 minute fire caused damage to everything inside our home except the outer four walls.  What kept the fire from spreading even worse than it did?  Well, firemen.  What would have happened if instead of using water to put out the fire - they began throwing more wood?  Obviously, the fire would have been even larger. 

This scripture reminds me that if I don't "feed" gossip then quarrels (verbal conflicts) will end.  This is definately true.  I know I've been in discussions that are going towards the negative route -- and all of sudden either someone else or I stop talking.  Interestingly, the conversation eventually changes or stops entirely.   Is the desire to put wood on the fire?  No.  Somehow in my sinfulness it feels good to talk negatively about others.  It tends to set me up above them.  All of sudden it feels like I am looking down at another person.   Such shameful reactions towards God's people.  My goal should be to edify, encourage and restore relationships.  Not tear them down.  I never set out or plan to gossip.  I'm sure you don't either.  Yet why is it that when we get into a heated conversation our first response is to throw more wood on the fire?  Well, for me, at that moment the sin feels good.  Lately, as I pray and seek His guidance --- it doesn't feel good at all.  My heart is changing because I am more aware of my sinful struggle in this area.

The more I study and ask the Lord to teach me - the more I realize how much I don't deserve.  I don't deserve forgiveness (I have done some terrible things in my past).  I don't deserve mercy (yet He freely gives it).  I don't deserve to be His child (although He adopted me through Christ's sacrifice).  When I see myself before God as a truly forgiven, child of God -- I don't feel at all worthy.  Yet, Christ paid all this for me.  He knows that I will struggle with sinfulness - yet I'm forgiven from all of it already.  Despite all of the bad things I have said in my life --- Christ's forgiveness covers them all!  This truth gives me a huge sense of relief and thankfulness.  I could never repay the debt I owe --- and I am so thankful that I don't have to work at trying...Christ paid it in full!

Sometimes, it takes just one person to stop a gossip fire from spreading.  Just as profound --- I can also keep from starting one.  

Lord, continue to teach me and guide me when it comes to the matters of the mouth.  I know that this is an area that I have probably hurt people without being aware of it.  If I need to make amends, please show me and guide me in that process.  My heart's desire is to honor you -- with all of  me. 

To Speak or Not to Speak (Part Three)

A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare. ~ Proverbs 15:1, NLT

Our family had a house fire in January 2005.  I remember that day as if it were yesterday.  When I saw flames billowing around a corner; I pulled my son, Jake away from them.  It was very scary.  Yet, God protected us all and we escaped unharmed.  In a mere minutes the flames destroyed the majority of our home.  It took approximately 14 months to correct the damage of a 20 minute fire.

This house fire analogy reminded me of conflict.  When I answer someone in a gentle way - it can put water on a potential "mouth" fire.  Yet if I "fuel" it with a harsh word - it can take along time to repair the damage.  This visual has given me another insight to how important it is to keep my words in check.  I would rather put water (gently answer) on a potential fire (temper) rather than fuel it and make it worse.  This then leads to restoring a broken relationship.

Now for the challenge --- to remember this the next time I encounter a potential conflict.

Lord, please help me to remember to deflect anger by using gentle answers.  I really need Your help in this area of my life.  Sometimes being right feels better than being humble.  I desire to honor You with my mouth.  Thank you, Jesus.  Amen.

Keep Walking!

The Lord directs the steps of the godly.
      He delights in every detail of their lives.
Though they stumble, they will never fall,
      for the Lord holds them by the hand. Psalm 37:23-24

Taking a detour from my series on speech today.   Recovery is hard; each step is another reflection to the exposure of my heart.  Who really enjoys knowing they have things that need work...continually?  Sometimes it gets weary.   Sometimes I want to give up... sometimes I get tired --- tired of walking.

When I do things in  my own strength; I stumble; yet this scripture passage spoke to me in a profound way.  Even WHEN I stumble - I will NEVER fall.   The Lord is holding my hand!  Did you notice it said "when" not "if"...God knows that this journey isn't easy.  He knows that with each day comes new trials, temptations and trauma.  Yet, He walks with me. 

This truth makes the walk feels so much lighter today.  So today I Keep Walking!

To Speak or Not to Speak (Part Two)

This journey of surrendering my speech comes with a price.  What I want vs. what God wants.

What I really "feel" like saying sometimes burns within me.  However, as I begin to evaluate my motive for what I want to say - I realize that it comes with a desire to either be heard or be right.  Neither of these are necessarily wrong, however my problem is that I want it too much.  I notice that as I pray for direction (on whether or not to speak);  the desire quickly dies.  So...I end up not saying what I originally wanted to afterall. 

Hmmm?  From the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks...my heart/mouth has a continual "God at Work" sign on it. 

Today, I'm thankful that God loves me that much.

To Speak or not to Speak (Part One)

To speak or not to speak - this is a question that has come to be a daily way of keeping my mouth in check.  Since the beginning of the year, I have been meditating on scripture that focuses on speech.  What I have uncovered is not at all pleasant.  What's interesting is that none of these scriptures are new to me.  I've heard them all before, however, I have come to appreciate them in a new profound way.  God wants me to surrender my "tongue" daily.  So what started my thinking on this subject?  Well, last year I hosted a Bible study in my home.  One of the studies was on the book of James.  Wow!  When it got to the part about the tongue (chapter one)...my tongue got stepped on.  That was the beginning of what God is now showing me.  Now I am on a journey called "to speak or not to speak".  Read the following & you will see what I mean. 

 ^"Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.  Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.  So get rid of all the filth and evil in your lives, and humbly accept the word God has planted in your hearts, for it has the power to save your souls.

But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves. For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror. You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like.  But if you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, and if you do what it says and don’t forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it.

If you claim to be religious but don’t control your tongue, you are fooling yourself, and your religion is worthless.  

Did I hear an “Ouch” or "Amen"?

Butterfly Kisses?

A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in His holy dwelling" (Psalm 68:5NIV).

The song "Butterfly Kisses"...I always cry when I hear this song; I never realized that I always desired this type of relationship with my earthly father. 

Don't get me wrong, he was a compassionate father.  I really believe he loved me the best he knew how. He was hardly ever home, because he worked all the time(he provided, yet I felt he was absent).  My father was older (he was 57 years old when I was born), so I was embarrassed when people mistook me for his grand-daughter. When I would complain that I was "fat" - he would gently say "you not fat, your fluffy - men like fluffy.  Recently, there was a kid's movie (I don't remember the title) where the little girl yells "It's fluffy"...it triggered this memory. My dad made some bad decisions in life, but he never regretted having me as a daughter...that I know.

As a result of my ponderings, and the devotion (see below)...I was able to focus on my relationship with my earthly father today. My dad passed away in 1991 (age 83), yet today God showed me that if my dad were alive I would say these words to him.

"Dear Dad, I expected you to be the answer to all my problems, to always be there when I needed you, to rescue me from all my troubles, to protect me from others and myself.   Since I thought you didn't fill this role, I sought after life's answers and they failed me too. Youwere my dad; never really my daddy.I have learned that God through Jesus Christ has all the answers. I know that expecting you to fillGod's shoes was totally impossible.   Please forgive me. God has become my Daddy and so you no longer have to carry that burden in my heart.  I look forward to seeing you again - this time with new eyes of love - for my Heavenly Daddy has given me strength to now call you daddy, too. 
Love, Suzie Q (that's what my dad called me)"

Those are my thoughts for today.  Thanks for reading!


Today I read the following devotional and was reminded at how much God loves me.  The fact that He allows us to call him "Father" - "Daddy"...is amazing to me.

March 7, 2011
I Want a Daddy Who Loves Me
Sharon Jaynes
Today’s Truth“I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters” (2 Corinthians 6:18 NIV italics added).
Friend to FriendWhen I was a little girl, my father spent most of his waking hours working at his building supply company, observing construction sites, or socializing with his colleagues and associates. Even though his place of business was only a few blocks from our home, his heart was miles away in a place I could never find.
My father didn’t drink alcohol every day, but when he did, it consumed him. Dad was filled with a rage that always seemed to be boiling just beneath the surface of his tough exterior. When he drank, that rage spewed out like hot lava onto those around him.
As a child, many nights I crawled into bed, pulled the covers tightly under my chin or even over my head, and prayed that I would quickly fall asleep to shut out the noise of my parents yelling and fighting. Crashing furniture, smashing glass, and fist upon flesh were common sounds that pierced my little girl nights. Occasionally I’d tiptoe over to my pink ballerina jewelry box, wind up the key in the back, open the lid, and try to focus on the tinkling melody that came from the music box as the dancer twirled with hands overhead.  I wanted to be wherever she was…anywhere but home.

I was afraid of my father. Even when he was sober, I kept my distance. At the same time, I observed how other daddies cherished their little girls. I saw daddies snuggle their daughters in their laps, hold their hands while walking in the park, or kiss their cheeks as they dropped them off at school in the mornings. Deep in my heart, a dream was birthed.  I dreamed that one day, I would have a daddy who loved me like that – not because I was pretty, or made good grades, or could play the piano well, but just because I was his. I dreamed that one day I would be a cherished daughter and the apple of my daddy’s eye.
In talking to women all across the country, I have seen eyes fill with tears when I talk about the dream of having a daddy who loves me.  But the tears are not for me; they reveal the longing in their own hearts.  Butterfly Kisses, a song by Bob Carlisle, climbed the charts in 2000, receiving international recognition in both the Christian and secular music industries. The song was about the tender love between a father and his daughter, starting from her birth to her wedding day. Mr. Carlisle said, “I get a lot of mail from young girls who try to get me to marry their moms.  That used to be a real chuckle because it’s so cute, but then I realized they didn’t want romance for mom.  They want the father that is in that song, and that just kills me.”

What did the little girls long for? They wanted a daddy to scoop them up in his strong arms.  They wanted to plant butterfly kisses on his scruffy face. They wanted to see tears in his eyes when he walked them down the aisle on their wedding day. Little girls and grown women alike long for a father to protect them, help them, guide them, nurture them, and cheer them on through the struggles of life.

In the Old Testament, God has many names.  He is Elohim – the Creator, El Elyon – God Most High, El Roi – the God who sees, El Shaddai – the All-Sufficient One, Adonai – the Lord, Jehovah – the Self-Existent One, Jehovah-Jireh –the Lord Will Provide, Jehovah – Rapha – the Lord who heals, Jehovah—Shalom – the Lord is peace, Jehovah-Raah – the Lord my Shepherd, and many more.

In the New Testament, Jesus introduced a new name for God – Father. In the Gospel of John alone, God is referred to as Father at least 120 times. It is the name that Jesus referred to more than any other and the name that He invites us to use to address the Creator of the Universe. Just stop and think about that for a moment. The God of the universe who created the heavens and the earth, who always has been and always will be, who is all-knowing, all powerful, and present everywhere at once – that same God invites you to call Him Abba Father. He invites you to call Him Daddy!

When the disciples asked Jesus to teach them how to pray, He said:
“But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen.  Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.  And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words.  Do not be like them, for yourFather knows what you need before you ask him.  This, then, is how you should pray:
‘Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name….’” (Matthews 6:6-9 italics added).

Let’s PrayOur Father who art in heaven, Hollowed by Thy name.  Thy kingdom come.  Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.  Give us this day our daily bread.  And forgive us our debts as we also have forgiven our debtors.  And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For Thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever.  Amen
Now It’s Your TurnI believe that God gives us Butterfly Kisses all through the day.  Today, look for ways that God is sending you little blessings.  Don’t miss it!  It could be in a sunrise, a redbird on the backdrop of a gray sky, or a gentle breeze that whispers “I love you.”
At the end of the day, visit my Facebook page and share how you sensed your Father’s presence today.

Keep myself from idols

• Dear children, keep yourselves from idols. 1 John 5:21 (NIV)
• Dear children, keep away from anything that might take God’s place in your hearts. 1 John 5:21 (NLT)
• Little children, keep yourselves from idols. Amen. 1 John 5:21 (KJV)
• Dear children, be on guard against all clever facsimiles. 1 John 5:21 (Message)
• Little children, keep yourselves from idols (false gods)--[from anything and everything that would occupy the place in your heart due to God, from any sort of substitute for Him that would take first place in your life]. Amen (so let it be). 1 John 5:21 (Amplified) 

This verse jumped out at me today.   A person's first idea of an idol is something you bow down to, an image made to represent a diety, etc.  As I began to reflect, it became a very obvious reminder that anything that takes the priority to God in my life is an idol. I don't kneel before a statue or any representation thereof, however idol worship is real.

For instance, here are some idols that have been or continue to be a struggle for me.

1.  People worship - I find myself caring too much of what people think, being intimitated, allowing people to control me
2.   Time worship - Not managing or mismanaging my time; being obsessed with schedules, etc.
3.  Task worship - Making sure things are done that are important to me at the cost of other more important things.
4.   Procrastination worship - Not getting things accomplished that should be done because I'm obsessing over    #2 & 3
5.  Pleasure worship - escaping from reality to ease the stress of all the above by doing something that isn't necessarily bad, yet I go beyond moderation.   Examples:  TV, Facebook (Bejeweled) and sleep.
6.  Self worship - if I evaluate all of the above -- it boils down to the number one thing that I am worshipping the common denominator--- ME!

People/ME, Time/ME, Task/ME, Procrastination/ME, Pleasure/ME, Self/ME

Oh Lord, as I endeavor to renew my mind daily, dieing to self , repenting of these idols, making intentional faith choices to put off and put on, please send reminders of my desire to put you first and foremost in all that I do.  I want less of ME and MORE OF YOU!  I need God over ME not the other things over ME.

CONTENTMENT = GOD/ME